|
rachael47809
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Rachael
Country: United States
State: Indiana
Birthday: 12/27/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: singing, dancing, the color pink, being color-coordinated, big jewelry, spending time with my family and friends, chemistry (I'm a dork, I know), anything related to medicine, baby animals, being loud and talking a lot
Expertise: Being the loudest person everywhere I go, being color-coordinated right down to the color of my eyeshadow, talking fast
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  princess47535
MSN: rachaelc04@hotmail.com
Member Since:
10/3/2004
|
|
| Okay. So things are looking up a little from my last post. I'm trying not to get overwhelmed right now with everything I'm in and everything I have to do. I really should just quit a lot of the stuff I'm doing right now. It's like a compulsion - I feel like I HAVE to join all these different groups and do all these different things. I'm very surprised at the number of people who have asked me if I'm retaking the MCAT. I just look at them and say, "Uh....no...." What I WANT to say is, "Do I look like I like wasting time and money to you?" Haha....But it is mostly people who don't really understand how the MCAT is scored that say this. Here's how the dialogue usually goes: Them: Hey, didn't you get the results of the MCAT back?
Me: Yes.
Them: Well, how'd you do?
Me: 39.
Them: What's it out of again?
Me: 45, but....(I start to explain that NO ONE gets a 45, or even a 44 or 43 for that matter, but they don't let me finish)
Them: Well, aren't you going to take it again? And try to get higher?
Me: (shakes head) It's the 99.3 percentile.
Them: Oh. Okay. But you have so much time left before you apply - why don't you retake it? You might get a better score, right? Yeah. | | |
| (WARNING: Depressing post ahead.) Happiness is such an elusive thing for me. It seems to come so easily to most other people.....I get so jealous of people who love life all the time, who are rarely down and, when they are, it's only because something major has happened. I wish every day that I could be more like them. I can't figure out what it is that makes me so fundamentally different from them. All I know is that it is something, and that something makes me feel like a pile of crap a lot of the time... Gosh. I'm tired of all of this. Of doubting myself, of worrying what other people think, of being terrified that I don't measure up to the people around me. I'm tired of trying to read people and only ending up confused and wondering why I don't get along with others as well as people I know do. I'm tired of having emotions that I know are stupid but I can't control. I'm tired of never feeling good enough to be loved. I'm tired. Not sure what to do about it though... | | |
| Well, scores were uploaded a day early..... It's better than I ever expected. I am totally in shock right now..... | | |
| Well, apparently no one loves me enough to play my questions game....whatever. Fall break has been glorious - I've done very little besides packing up my summer clothes and re-organizing my closet to accommodate my winter clothes. CJ isn't going to believe me, but there's actually been a net flow of stuff OUT of our apartment between my summer clothes that are going home and stuff I'm giving to my sisters. I got to go shopping on Saturday with my sister Becca. It was a lot of fun - especially since my mom said I could put a few things on her Goody's charge card. I got some new jeans, shoes, and two new shirts. Yaaaay for shopping! Now I actually have more than 2 pairs of jeans that I can squeeze my fat butt into....which is always nice. Not ready to go back to classes tomorrow - but I AM ready to get my MCAT score. It should be online late Friday night....I don't know what to expect. I'm trying not to predict my score for fear of being disappointed....so we'll just have to wait and see, I suppose. Well, since I haven't done anything this weekend, I really need to do some homework.... | | |
|
--> 
--> 
--> 
--> 
--> 
--> 